Mending Hearts

[ME!]

As I ride the train on my way back home from taking my History final, I can't help but think about the way things used to be.

Replaying all the pain that was caused in an amount of three years in my mind.

I've been much better now, I promise you I have, but those haunting days still scar my memory.

There is nothing more that I want from you other than the answer to my questions.

"Why did you bring countless of tears to my eyes? What was the lesson?"

There is not a day that goes by that I am not bothered by the insecurities you have implanted within me.

A sensor that goes off automatically when someone triggers your personality.

Destruction and damaged, in the form of a person, myself I see as I peer through the reflection of the screen on my phone.

After getting off the train I stand waiting for the bus, here it comes.

In the bus, on my way home.

I know that I am a better person today than I have ever been in my entire life, especially during that three year encounter I spent with you.

However, I have to admit, as long as I loved you I will forever be reminded of the past struggle.
Because honestly, it is what made me who I am today.

I blame you for the hole you dug inside of me and the emptiness you left.

But I blame myself for loving you and for giving you my best.

Off the bus and walking toward my building, enjoying the bird's chipper.

If it wasn't obvious than, it is now that my days are so much brighter.

I have found someone who fulfills the gaps you have left.

He has been at my wake for three years straight and every time

I saw him I stared at him with blind eyes.

He was off limits and just a name that was familiar to my ears.

Eventually though, things changed and he became the one who fought my fears.

Worlds apart, we were so much different from each other.

The only thing we had in common was our choices in our lover.

I decided to take a detour, walking through the grass at Soundview Park.

I remember the times we shared over the phone trying to mend each others’ heart.

We craved for each others’ attention.

But of course our feelings lingered unmentioned.

He was there for me as I was for him, and it was the beginning of a long and lasting friendship.

Never did I believe or even intend that this promising friendship would soon blossom and grow into something much more.

I'm sitting on a park bench staring out into the water thinking about the love I concealed from him during those days of hardship.

Long story short, we fell in love with each other when we least expected it.

It was like something waiting to happen with the right place and time.

Afraid, I was, I have to admit when I opened my heart completely and allowed him to take it.

But I knew immediately that it was what my heart wanted and I trust that he won't break it.

He gives me everything I desire without me having to ask.

He's everything I need and everything I want and I'm blessed.

To know that he can open up to me like he's never done with anyone else, gives me the faith I need to know that love does exist.

So as I conclude this free write, I want to make a promise for all to see.

"I promise you Sean that I will do all in my power that I can to insure that we remain strong as a couple and strong as individuals.

You are the hero who saved my heart as it shattered in pieces and the doctor who revived it as it lost its beat.

You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with as your lover and friend.

And the day you welcomed me into your life and into your heart was the day that you completed this puzzle.

You were the missing piece all along, and without you I am incomplete.

I love you with all my heart and soul.

Thank you."

Together since March 22nd 2009 till the day we die. <3